Ask dating dating online question someone when
“If you find out that they are very interested in selfies, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and other social media, it might make you think twice about how much you want to share with them,” Safran points out.“Social media can often be like an addiction, and if someone spends more time sharing on their social media (or on the flip side, refuses to share anything at all), you may learn more about what a relationship might be like with them.
In some cases, this question can lead to a lively discussion of shared academic interests, but there’s also some data to support the idea that you’re significantly more likely to marry a person who majored in the same subject you did.
“This is a great question that is an opener for a conversation that can go down many roads,” explains Julienne Derichs, a licensed clinical professional counselor practicing in the Chicago area. “Comparing dating war stories it’s fun and usually results in lots of laughs, thereby minimizing the awkwardness of a first date.” The biggest thing you want to avoid on a first date is making it feel like an interrogation, and this question allows you to be casual and still get a feel for who your date is beyond what their dating profile (or the friend who set you up) tells you.
“If someone still parties a lot, seems to have too many plans (if you ask them about more weekends and seem to get the same response), or just spends most weekends working, it may be that they are not relationship ready,” says Stef Safran, matchmaker and founder of Stef and The City.
It might feel like bad form to ask something like this, but it may provide helpful hints about what your date is really looking for.
“Most single people are using apps nowadays, but if somebody isn’t, it can be a sign that they are not looking for a relationship,” says Isabel James, matchmaker and founder of Elite Dating Managers. Ok Cupid and users are usually looking for something more serious than Tinder, Bumble, and Grindr users.” Worried the first date is too soon to ask this? “This is just something so fundamental, so before any feelings start flying, you want to know if the person does (or doesn’t) intend on sharing their life with other people who will arguably becoming a greater priority than you.” “Hearing about someone’s future goals can give you an idea of how compatible you might be,” Morin says. “Understanding things they hope to do down the road gives you a glimpse of that person’s hopes, dreams, and passions.” “Don’t be afraid to ask if they are looking for a long-term relationship with the right person,” says Laney Zukerman, relationship coach and author. It’s important you know from the start that if the pieces of the puzzle fit, they are open to that.” Whether you love travel or you’re a total homebody, this question is a must.