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I’m worried that if I bring it up, it’s going to start a fight or hurt your feelings, and I want you to know that that’s not my intention.’ Then you can say, ‘I want to be supportive, but I also feel like I’m not able to take care of certain things that are important to me, financially, because of this situation.’ This is an opportunity to set boundaries, like what you’re comfortable paying for, and what you aren’t.” There’s also the “what does this mean for your/our future” question.You’re probably starting to worry about more than just a few extra sushi orders on your credit-card bill every month.There were good reasons for it, beyond anyone’s control: the economy was still recovering (timing is the single biggest indicator of how long it will take someone to find employment), and he was switching careers.But as months passed, he got discouraged, and I did too.Maybe you’re even getting nervous about whether this guy is someone you can count on in the long run.In 2010, my then-boyfriend quit a job he hated without another one lined up, and it took a lot more time than either of us expected for him to find something new.“Unspoken resentment is a dangerous thing in a relationship.” on him rejoining the workforce and ponying up for Seamless orders more often.
Instead, place the situation in the larger context of your own finances, says Clayman: “Try prefacing it with something like, ‘There’s something on my mind.
“You can’t if he’s taking advantage of your finances, or you’re enabling him by taking on more financial responsibilities,” says Amanda Clayman, an L.
A.-based financial therapist who has treated many couples in this position.
“There won’t be a productive conversation around that.” Instead, pay attention to when you’re annoyed, and then tell him — carefully.
“The only way to constructively and honestly deal with this is by sharing where you’re at,” explains Clayman.