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If you ask young Christians to explain how the book shaped their views on dating and marriage—as I did for this story—some will tout the benefits.But many others will claim it did them more harm than good.Finally, when the coast seemed clear, he asked Katie, “Can I put my arm around you? About four months later, she said yes again when he asked her to marry him.Ly’s conservative approach to romance was influenced, he says, by sold more than 1.2 million copies and became an icon of the 1990s purity movement, which emphasized spiritual, physical, and emotional purity before marriage.

He is sharing what worked for him and how it applied to him as a teenager.Back when the book topped the bestseller list, many of its readers were in their teenage years—a stage typically marked by raging hormones and dating experiments, when peers were trembling over their first kiss and parading their first official boyfriend or girlfriend in school.Kids broke love vows, lost their virginity, broke hearts.Those who adhered to the no-dating rules of the courtship movement avoided those messy experiences for something they hoped would be bigger and better.Now most of these individuals are in their 30s—a different season in life, when they’re paying their own bills.

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