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“When my husband [musician Noah Lebenzon, who is not Latino] and I were getting ready for the hospital, I had asked him, ‘What earrings should I give birth in?

You don't have to be in Latin America long to realize that there's a cheating bonanza going on. You see, that movement known as "Feminism" didn't quite catch on here as well as it did in North America and Western Europe, so there's never been much doubt cast on the historical roles of men and women.

This means we are going to take a little longer getting ready.

I think that North American men cheat less than Latinos not because they are inherently more loyal, but because they have been conditioned to be more afraid, both of their partner's wrath, and of societal backlash. After a series of conversations, I was eventually forgiven by her, as well as her friends and family. I was ostracized by everyone who was even vaguely connected to the relationship, save for my own family and a few close pals. Of course, neither reaction was appropriate; cheating shouldn't be met with such leniency nor with such obtuse exclusion.

Most people I come in contact with have no idea that you can be both black and Latina.

This is super frustrating because when I do mention I’m Latina, they’re disappointed that I don’t fit their stereotype.

When I asked him why, he told me it was because he thought I was a type A personality like him, and was disappointed to find out I wasn’t.

If only I had picked up on the signs when he first started flirting with me, I might have been able to see that his attraction to me was based on a false image of what all Latinas are like – and called him out on it. Unfortunately, because we are so accustomed to receiving attention directly related to our Latina identity, we can become complacent and completely miss those signs – which ends up really hurting us in the end.

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