My dad dating my mother law
Case in point: Not only did I have to cope with the fact that his new girlfriend was half his age, but also that he was considering moving to Thailand with her. Now, he wanted to be committed to himself—spending some quality time on his own terms.Meanwhile, my own marriage had ended dramatically and very abruptly—and I wasn't exactly in the state of mind to be swept up in his romantic fantasy. He wanted to travel, eat dinner when and where he wanted, and wear his old underwear around the house.You never want to hear it, Brooke, but your father, your perfect father, wants to screw me out of everything." Then she started crying.Dismantling a family is hardly a linear process, and grieving isn't either. An adult child has known her parents only with each other.Nothing tested me more in my adult life than my parents' divorce. I had moved out of my childhood home to attend college several years before.I can say that now without feeling embarrassed or weak. I had a great job, close friends, a relationship—all of the things that should make you feel rooted."I'm playing table tennis with the Under-30s Champion of Beijing," he'll say when I call him on a Friday night. " These characteristics make him lovably unique and very funny. "I'm exhausted," he admitted, "but I haven't felt so alive in years! He was still in love with her when they separated, but the problems in their relationship had ultimately worn my mother down. He was unable (or rather unwilling) to start a new serious relationship.
There was the realization that home would never be the same.You might accept and forgive one aspect of your parents' divorce, but then something else happens—maybe Dad asks you to meet the woman he's dating—and you have an entirely new set of circumstances to deal with. She is around my dad's age—I'd worried that she would be a young tart. We start arguing and I say, "I just don't think you're much of a mother to me anymore." A year earlier I'd promised myself I'd never say things like this to her again. When we get back home, we settle on opposite sides of the couch. But I guess this isn't about accepting that my parents are no longer together.Dad is giddy when I walk into my aunt Junie's house one evening two years after the split. She makes a quick U-turn in the middle of the highway and nearly gets us killed. At some point, I realize, the way Mom acted during the divorce became the real source of my anger.They wanted me to hear about every jab and knockout punch they'd exchanged. It was one of the few things Dad threw into his bag when he left Mom's house a year ago. He stopped sleeping through the night after he and Mom separated.Dad had wanted me to come over to his new place to show me his Fender Strat, a guitar he had just bought. I didn't realize how little alone time I'd spent with my father until the split. Mom, with her hair long and blond and pushed back in a headband.