Red flags for abusive dating relationships
Narcissists like to be associated with high-status people and institutions.They think they’re the best and want to surround themselves with the best. Does your date think only his or her school is the best, and require the best car, the best table at the best restaurant, the finest wines, and wear expensive labels, or name drop public figures they know?They may be good at short-term intimacy and make you feel like a king or queen; but eventually, they don’t keep up that act.You’ll discover that their motive is to get what they want; for example, sex, but that they’re not interested in getting to know more about you, your family, problems, or successes. This is revealed in their behavior and how they talk about themselves and others.He claims to have never loved anyone like this before.2. He’s jealous of any guy you even speak to and says his jealousy shows how much he loves you. He faults others for his own mistakes and makes others responsible for his feelings: “You make me mad,” not “I’m mad.”7. He’s thin-skinned, taking minor slights as major insults and blowing them up into more than they’re worth.8. He criticizes you, calls you names, embarrasses you, uses your vulnerabilities against you.9. He’s possessive, calling constantly, dropping in out of the blue, and gives you little room to yourself.3. He checks up on you, interrogates you about where you went and who you were with, monitors your email and phone. Unfortunately, most people never learn the signs of dating abuse and many are surprised when they finally figure it out. While physical violence is pretty straightforward, emotional abuse is far more insidious and not as recognizable as a bruise.
No matter what you call it, it’s pervasive in societies around the world, cutting a wide swath across socioeconomic, racial, ethnic and religious lines.
I’ve had a number of clients who claimed that the courtship with their narcissistic spouse was wonderful, and that abuse only began following the wedding.
However, with greater insight, these clients admitted that there were signs that they’d overlooked. Other people are only two-dimensional, meaning that narcissists can’t empathize.
If you felt invisible in your family, you might take this for granted.
You could possibly feel validated by the attention you give as a good listener. As mentioned above, some narcissists are skilled communicators and will appear fascinated by you, even mirror your interests to make you like them.